So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
