So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I want to be your penis for a week.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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