i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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