Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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