A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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