He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
