And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
