i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
