She is in my trunk
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
