i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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