While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
