Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
