alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
