My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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