erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
