Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
