so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
did you just send me my own nude
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
