You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We had to coat check the pizza.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
