I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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