HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
