Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
im drinking this country out of the recession.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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