My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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