i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
