I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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