I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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