I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
