my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
