I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
