I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
