i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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