We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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