Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
