last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
