I think my vagina is haunted
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
