Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
