Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
