I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
