I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I came so hard my ears popped.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
