People in love make me want to vomit
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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