ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
