I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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