so explain again why im purple
no
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
