I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
