i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
