perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
