wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
