sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
