I wannas sexs uuuuu
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
