i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
