There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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